We have never been coy and evasive about biology in this House. I don’t scream and shamefully cover myself when one of the kids walks in on me in the bathroom (which is pretty much all the time). In fact, I’ve told Mr. Prairie that I should write a parenting book called, “He (or She) Won’t Let Me Pee!” Heck, I’ve even covered the rudimentaries of evolution with Monkey.

When we found out I was pregnant with Pumpkin, we told Monkey right away. We prepared him for her arrival and told him that she was growing inside Mama just like he had. He has always enjoyed the story of the day he was born and he loves to look at pictures from that day. Of course that first picture shows my head wearing an oxygen mask on the operating table, one screaming baby, and a blue surgical drape.

Monkey watched me get bigger by the day and was one of the two people allowed to touch my belly and feel the baby move. (The other one was Mr. Prairie.) He knows that babies grow inside of mommies. Of course we haven’t yet had to tell him how babies get inside the mommies. But I will handle it in an age-appropriate and medically accurate way.

So I was a little surprised at a very knee-jerk, visceral reaction I had today. Monkey comes in with Pumpkin’s big Dora doll and a much smaller baby doll and informs me that Dora had a baby. I laughed and said that was silly since Dora was just a little girl. Then my too-smart-for-his-own-good son says, “Ok, Dora is a teenager and had a baby!” And since I, in no way, shape, or form, want to give the impression to my children that teenage pregnancy is an acceptable thing, I freaked.

I said, “Teenagers shouldn’t have babies! That’s BAD, BAD, BAD!!!!!EleventyOne!!!!”

Then Monkey asks, “Why not?” A reasonable question that now means I have to find some logic behind my emotional reaction. I can’t, and won’t, use a lot of moralistic crap, that I don’t even believe, on my kids.

I’m not trying to sound like a scold, but I honestly believe that teenage pregnancy is not something to be encouraged or even condoned, but something to be prevented. I don’t subscribe to the notion of sticking one’s head in the sand, fundamentalist-style, and realize that parents can only guide, not force, teenagers to good decisions. But right now I don’t have teenagers, I have two small to middlin’ children. So how was I, a logical and liberal mom, to explain my objections in an honest, non-hypocritical way?

I settled on the health angle. I told Monkey that teenagers’ bodies are still growing and it’s healthiest for mamas and babies if the mamas are full-grown adults. He accepted that answer, for now. I’m sure that we’ll be having weightier discussions on this subject in fewer years than I may like, but I think I handled this one pretty well. Especially for being caught so off-guard.

That’s what kids excel at–catching Mom and Dad off-guard. And mine are pros at it.