Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
Friday, October 30th, 2009I am the family weirdo, the black sheep, the one who’s gone astray. I’m sure that, in my absence, other family members shake their heads ruefully, tut-tutting at the shame of it all.
OK, some background is in order, lest you start developing an image of Bonnie Parker crossed with Calamity Jane and projecting it upon me. My husband and I have been married for over 18 years, our children are nearly-7 and 4-and-a-half, and we are serious homebodies. I don’t smoke, don’t take anything harder than ibuprofen, rarely imbibe, and have but one vice–Dr. Pepper.
I find “Girls’ Night Out” to be distasteful at best and have never participated in one. I like being married, I like everything that goes along with being married. I have somebody to walk beside me while I navigate the rough road of life. Mr. Prairie and I have a true partnership of equals. He doesn’t try any of that submit nonsense on me and I don’t try to wheedle and manipulate him to get my way. We co-parent our children; we have each others’ backs and present a unified front. I know that he is just as competent at parenting as I, if not more so.
I have never been arrested and haven’t even been stopped for speeding in years. While public shared spaces aren’t good places to post the 10 Commandments, I try my best to adhere to them in my own life. Especially the boring ones about not doing various things that hurt others, like not stealing, not killing, not bearing false witness, and not cheating on one’s spouse.
I look like the boring middle-aged mom that I am. Jeans and t-shirts are my customary uniform. My feet can be found in very small, very comfortable shoes.
Why then, am I the family weirdo?
Because I don’t go to church. Seriously. That and all it implies. I had to abandon the baptist church, because they abandoned me. Not one to be meek, mild, and mealy-mouthed, I refuse to buy into that whole submit nonsense. And since, to conservative types, appearance is all, my refusal to pretend makes me a perfect target.
Ya know, in other families I would be considered the stable, boring, “good” one. But being a secular, liberal, free-thinker has marked me, perhaps forever, as The Family Weirdo.
