Hey, thanks a lot for making me feel unsafe in my own neighborhood, in broad daylight! Really appreciate it!

Earlier today I was thinking about how untouched I have been by all the street or random harassment I read about. Something about being a nearly 40-year old mom, pushing a toddler in a stroller, must be some kind of creep-repellent. Uh huh. Before you begin to laugh derisively at my naivete, I have now been disabused of that notion. Walking with my children doesn’t make me less vulnerable, it makes me much more vulnerable.

Today was such a beautiful day, absolutely perfect for walking Monkey to school. So we did. We got him dropped off in his class; and Pumpkin and I started walking back to the House. But first, I stopped to talk to another parent, C’s dad. As we were talking, a man rode by on a bicycle. I have seen this person outside Monkey’s school several times recently, and thought him kind of odd, but probably harmless. That is until today. He spotted me talking to C’s dad, swerved across the street, and interrupted our conversation to say, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Excuse me, WTF?! I didn’t smile, I hardly responded. I said, “Um, yeah.” and kept talking to the other parent as the Creep rode on.

Pumpkin and I started walking home. I always pay attention to traffic, walking defensively, even on the sidewalk. Cars drive too fast on that street, even in front of the school, and I have seen or heard several serious accidents along that road. At one intersection, I looked back to check for cars, and the Creep on the bike was bearing down on us. Starting to get a little concerned, I picked up the pace and started thinking about options. He passed us and I made a point to not look friendly. Then, oh Lord, he turned his bike onto our street!

I slowed down, tried to figure out who I could go to for help, and tried to rationalize. Surely he turned down our street randomly. But I knew better. And sure as shootin’, I turned the stroller down our street, got about 2 houses down, and noticed that the Creep is down the street a ways, waiting. He started riding back towards us. I had already spotted a neighbor at home at the end of the street. Pumpkin and I went to door, I rang the bell and prayed furiously.

The Creep rode past us just before the man answered the door. My neighbors are very nice and he was very understanding and concerned when I told him what happened. He walked to the end of the street with me, but the Creep was gone. I thanked him, a lot, and started back to the House. Then I heard my neighbor yell something. Thinking he was trying to get my attention, I turned back. The Creep came back and my neighbor yelled something at him as he passed. When the Creep was gone, I waved at my neighbor’s wife (who apparently came out to see why I dragged her husband out into the street) and ran up my driveway.

He may be harmless, I may be overreacting, but… Why would some random guy use a smarmy pick-up line on a middle-aged mom with a toddler? How did he know which street we lived on? Who does he think he is to make me feel uneasy about being outdoors while female? And one other highly disturbing thing: I’m no hot, young thing (as if that would make it better), what if he was trying to get to my kids?!

Something made my internal alarm go off, and I’m not in the habit of ignoring my instincts. I’d much rather overreact and be safe than under-react and be dead. The upshot is: we’re not going to be walking for a while.

You know, I have walked that route many times and seen many different people all over the neighborhood. Other parents, teenage ne’er-do-wells, lawn workers, utility crews, retired people, even the occasional hobo, and I have never been harassed or followed. Apparently, I just haven’t run across any harassers until now.

Nobody reading this blog is likely to think this way, but some people dismiss random harassment, thinking that women somehow provoke it by dressing or acting a certain way. Just for the record: I am a pudgy, middle-aged mom with so much gray in my hair that I’m starting to resemble a badger. I was wearing the ever-alluring mom uniform of: relaxed-fit jeans, baggy black T-shirt, loose black cardigan, Doc Marten boots, and not a stitch of make-up. Except for my hands, I was covered from neck to toes. I did not smile or flirt and I was busy wrangling a toddler in a stroller.

There is nothing I did nor didn’t do to make that Creep try to follow me home. There is nothing I could’ve done differently to get a different outcome. And no matter how fully-clothed or scantily clad a woman is, if a man is decent, he won’t act like a Creep. The only “mistake” I made? Being a woman and being outside my house.

Creep.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 6:31 pm and is filed under In front of the neighbors. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.