Night School
Tonight is my second night at night school. Doesn’t that just have the swankest shag-carpeting 70’s vibe? I’m going to night school. There are a lot of people in my class who come straight to school from work. They work all day, that’s why they go to night school. I go to night school, and take internet classes, and take Saturday classes because of my work, too. My bosses are notoriously demanding of my time and undivided attention, I am expected to drop whatever it is I am doing and rush to fulfill their slightest whims. And they’re short. And sometimes they’re smelly and messy. And sometimes they’re pouty and selfish. And sometimes they hit each other. But they sure are cute, and even though the pay sucks and the hours are lousy, the perks are pretty sweet.
This is NOT going to be a post about the indescribable euphoria of motherhood. I love Monkey and Pumpkin with a ferocity that is hard to express; it is amazing how fury and love can go hand in hand. The two of them drive me crazier than you can imagine, but I wouldn’t trade my life now for anything. But…I have worked or attended school or a combination of the two since I was 18 years old, staying home with the kids feels like playing hooky. And the housewife gig? I’m not very good at it, in fact I’m a miserable failure as a housewife. And whoever thought up that stupid term? I am not married to the house, if I were it would divorce me for sure.
There were many reasons why I decided to stay home with the kids: I never cared for daycare myself, we didn’t have family who could look after them, we aren’t wealthy enough for a nanny, and I didn’t really have a career, just a series of jobs. It is that last item on the list that has always bothered me the most. I never finished my degree and have, as a result, always felt as if some piece of me was missing, something vital I had forgotten. That is why I am going to school now. Our lack of reliable childcare is why I am going to night school, and internet school, and Saturday school. During night school and Saturday school the kids stay in the very capable care of their long-suffering Daddy. So, I’m going to take this opportunity to say “Thank you” to my very understanding Hubby, I couldn’t do it without you. And now you see what I go through everyday.