So anyway. You may remember that I was forced to acknowledge the death of one of my oldest friendships recently. At around the same time I located one of my best friends from high school on Facebook. Naturally, wanting to reconnect, I requested that she add me as a friend. Crickets. So a couple of weeks later, thinking she might check her Facebook as often as I do (not very), I tried again. I get this (dis)missive in reply:
Sorry, I didn’t get back to you sooner. I’ve lost track of who all I still owe emails to, but I think it’s nearly half a dozen people. Anyway, I also hope that it’s okay with you that I don’t add you as a friend for the time being. I first started on Facebook to keep up with extended family, and after a flurry of adding old acquaintances it started getting out of hand. (I’ve found that when one has too many friends it’s easy to miss the important information that’s buried among everyone’s Mafia Wars requests.) So I decided to limit my new FB friends to just people who are actively involved in my life. It’s much more manageable that way, and makes it less of a granfalloon.
I have enjoyed hearing from you over the past few years, and occasionally pop by your blog to see what’s up. It’s been nice to hear news of your family and school. If we continue to keep in touch I may reconsider down the road. I think you have my email address, which is (email redacted by me since I’m nice and shit.)
Unfortunately, I’m afraid I don’t have any news that you don’t already know. The more things change the more they stay the same here. I just work, hang out with my husband and my parents, and take care of my dog. Sometimes I get to travel, but mostly I work a lot of long hours.
I would like to hear from you, and hope you are well.
Best regards,
z
My, my, my, aren’t we just full of ourselves.
I’ve been thinking about these situations for a while and have come to the conclusion that, yes indeedy, I am the problem. Or rather, the much younger me is the problem. Seems I used to pick shitty friends. Not all of them were shitty, but these two definitely.
Seeing as how I have two new openings for friends I need to get on the ball. Maybe I should conduct this like a job opening, take application and schedule interviews. Some things I’ve learned: liking the same fashions and music and nightclubs is not the best foundation for a lasting, meaningful, supportive friendship; and just because someone is smart and liberal doesn’t mean she is not an insufferable snob who will shake me off like the dirt from her boots the moment she takes a step into the larger world.
Harsh judgments? I don’t think so. Instead, I like to think of them as astute and intuitive. Perhaps if I had exercised better discernment back in the day, I would still have old friends.
Now I need some new ones, here in real life. Since gossiping across the back fence really isn’t a valid option these days, I’ll have to come up with something new. I’ll keep you updated.