The Captain Has Left The Building, part 2
O.K., I have two shows to review today, both fall into the inexplicable category for me, but the kids seem to like them.
Caillou-I despise this show, no, that’s not a strong enough word. I hate this show with the heat of a thousand suns, the fiery quality of my utter loathing and active hatred of this show is powerful enough to melt the paint off the walls. The star of the animated show is an extraordinarily whiny, melon-headed little punk. He’s supposed to be four years old, but exhibits a maturity level far lower than that of his barely-verbal baby sister, Rosie. Caillou’s mother and father are so preternaturally patient and kind and loving and mealy-mouthed that their resemblance to real parents is cursory at best. There’s a cat and some stuffed animals that have their own puppet show thing between the excruciating animated segments. The theme song is terrible, the parents seem like they are on tranquilizers, those grandparents are the most boring grandparents on the planet, there’s a creepy next-door neighbor with a gold tooth and no visible means of support, and did I mention the whining? Caillou is a terrible influence on children, at least on mine. One half-hour of Caillou leads, hop-skip-and-jump, to a week of emulating his atrocious whiny-toned voice. I think the kid gets away with being so whiny all the time because those cartoon parents of his are zonked out on Quaaludes all the time. I find no redeeming qualities in this show except that the kids seem to like it, thank heavens it’s not one of the favorites.
Then there is Yo Gabba Gabba, a children’s show/rave that boasts some very cool guests and artists. Guests like Elijah Woods and Biz Markie and Mark Mothersbaugh. This show is a cross between The Banana Splits, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, and Dee Lite. And can I just say that I am utterly confused by DJ Lancerock’s hat? During my sophomore year of high school, before we got the new band uniforms, that hats we had to wear were these white, itchy towers of fake fur. DJ Lancerock’s hat looks just like those except in orange. To me, Yo Gabba Gabba just seems like a bunch of hipper-than-thou parents or wanna-bes got together and decided to make a “cool” children’s program. I can’t fault them for this, as much children’s programming is absolute garbage. But sometimes it comes off as self-congratulatory and pretentious in its efforts to not be Barney.
When I get tired of modern children’s programming I just turn the T.V. over to Boomerang, watch Yogi Bear, and relive the innocent T.V.-viewing of my childhood. And, seriously, children’s-programming-people, why work so hard at being “cool” when we can just turn over to The Jetsons or Scooby Do, Where Are You?
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I hated Calliou as well. What a waste of 30 minutes.
And, I’m glad The Boy was beyond those shows before the other came out. /whew/
Now, he’s into Ben 10 and a lot of weird stuff like Bakugon and some other anime type card/monster game sort of cartoons that I don’t understand at all. I don’t get the appeal of them, beyond the marketing of toys that I won’t buy anyway.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
You would think that with the millions of hours of children’s tv that a 4 year old has never seen, they wouldn’t have to keep making the stuff.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:54 am
I’m convinced that Mr. Hinkle, Caillou’s next door neighbor, is a pedophile. I find it strange that Calliou is whinier than my kids, yet also more easily placated by his parents. Unfortunately, I’ve had to watch way too much of that show.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Mary-It’s terrible, but I have the same suspicions. If it were my kid, he wouldn’t be going anywhere near the guy. But, alas, I’m talking about a cartoon as if it were real.
August 6th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I think that Mr. Hinkle’s wife left him and that is why he is sad and still in his pajamas in the episode around the block. The songs are really weird.
There was a line…”I like silly songs, even when they are dumb.” and thought whoa they are really phoning in this show…my son LOVES caillou…and thank goodness it doesn’t take much convincing to watch something else.