To Be Determined
There is…something, I don’t know what, hovering just beyond my perceptions. Some impending event or revelation is grasping towards me from an unformed future. I am no prophet or prognosticator, no diviner or fortune-teller, but I feel the shadow of something yet to be. There is not a lot of “woo” that I buy into: I don’t read horoscopes; I don’t think futures can be read with tea leaves or tarot cards or palms; I’d say that I don’t believe in ghosts but there’s a ghost in my kitchen.
The future cannot be reliably foretold because every moment requires decisions that continually alter that future. Multiverse Theory tells us that there are multiple, not just one, and possibly infinite, universes encompassing every possible future. In the present, though, the future is Schrodinger’s Cat, just a fog of possibilities until we open the box.
While I don’t think the future can be foretold, I do tend to fret about it. I’m a planner, a list-maker, I like to plan and enumerate everything. And the other side of that coin means that I am also a worrier. It seems like anxiety has been a constant companion for years. Thankfully I’m experiencing a bit of a reprieve from all of that because I’m on a beta-blocker now. I don’t feel anxious on a daily basis anymore, which is better for all of us.
But for some reason I’m feeling a kind of anticipation, not a foreboding as if something wicked this way comes. It is more a feeling of hopeful presentiment that something good is coming this way. There is a positive development, or new opportunity, or correct decision on the horizon.
Who knows what the future holds, but Schrodinger’s cat and I will let you know as soon as we open the box.